Eating until I swell into a Phat Phuc

I am a big Asian food fan. I love it. I pride myself on knowing, and having tried, all my local Asian outlets. But I confess the only reason I came to hear of this one, hidden away as it is, is because of its simply AMAZING name.

I had been walking back from an amazing meal at El Gaucho (no, not the posh one) in the Chelsea Garden Centre, and saw an unprepossessing sign tacked to a brick wall just off the Kings Road. How could you fail to be intrigued? But I looked around... no restaurant in the immediate vicinity, so on I walked.

At this point my curiosity is less piqued than enflamed. Where is this restaurant with the frankly awe-inspiring name? Turns out, it's completely hidden away, in a below street-level courtyard just behind the Chelsea Garden Centre. Yup, right by that big ole sign that so frustrated me. Stupid Jess.

This place completely charmed me. A far cry from the swanky, over-styled and frankly, over-priced eateries that usually populate the Kings Road and it's environs, Phat Phuc doesn't even occupy a commercial space. It is a wonderfully quirky and authentic caravan-esque open-fronted van serving food, at lunchtimes only, to a small selection of rickety wooden tables set in an idyllic courtyard (think foundations etc), at entirely reasonable prices. The menu is brief, encompassing a whistle-stop tour of western-approved salads and spicy noodle broths, with light and refreshing starters like hoisin duck wraps and satay chicken. We ate on a gorgeous, bright but cold March day, and so eating outside under the gas heaters felt like a rare treat.

I settled for the Prawn Laksa, which has always been a favourite of mine but I've seen done in a myriad of ways, ranging from divine to revolting. The boy went for a Pho Bo (vietnamese beef noodle broth). We started with the Hoisin Duck wraps.

The food arrived pretty promptly, but for this kind of place (particularly as you are sat outside - although there are heating towers) that's quite normal, and I think a fast speed of service is acceptable. The duck pancakes (2 pieces for £3.50) were of a reasonable size and pretty damn tasty. My prawn laksa contained just the right amount of spice, and was pretty peanutty, which personally I love. I ate this dish all over it's native Malaysia and I have to say, this one was one of the best I've had. The boy was slightly less impressed with his Beef Broth, saying that it lacked kick. Luckily, there are plenty of spicy condiments on all the tables, and he was a pretty happy camper after a generous dose of chili sauce. Both mains were £6.50 for a pretty hearty portion.

I'm so pleased to have discovered this place, and will definitely be back. I just hope they decide to open up in the evenings once Summer approaches... I need more opportunities to visit and lunchtimes-only is a bit limiting. Great for a quick and delicious lunch, in quirky surroundings, at far below the usual Chelsea rate, provided the day is warm enough.

Tendido Cuatro - Tapas that will knock you for six

We've dined all over SW6 in the past few months, but I suddenly realised we'd rarely gone beyond Parsons Green. Assured by good friends that there was indeed fine dining further along the New Kings Road, we booked in at Tendido Cuatro, on the basis of the warmest of recommendations.

And we were not disappointed.

So whilst I would never pretend to be a connoisseur of fine Spanish cuisine, I did live in sunny Spain for a year, and ate enough tapas that I pretty much haven't been able to enjoy so-called Spanish restaurants back in the UK since. Although, my fears were allayed by the fact that Tendido Cuatro was owned by the same group as the much-famed Cambio de Tercio on the Brompton Road.

Although the front is rather ignominious, the low-lit interior in deep reds, with Picasso-eque paintings on the walls is welcoming, with a sophistication belied by the exterior. The staff, in authentic Spanish style, are friendly and accommodating, and judged the crowd perfectly, swiftly bringing over the vino once we were seated. A raucous evening had commenced.... Indeed, our lovely waitress had the grace to laugh at some fairly awful jokes on the part of our gentleman friends, and we had a hilarious evening.

The menu is pretty extensive, but not so much so that it is baffling. Although, all the tapas looked so great we did find it pretty hard to choose. Tendido Cuatro had added quite a cosmopolitan twist to some traditional dishes like Patatas Bravas, and had been a more adventurous with dishes like the Caramelos de Queso, con Gambas en Salso de Vinagre de Frambuesa y Mango (sweet and cheesy prawn parcels - much more delicious than they sound!).

The dishes were beautifully presented, and on the whole came out in well-timed succesion, although we did wait a while at the end for our last dish: grilled chicken marinated in lime and olive oil. Though, once we tasted it, all was forgiven! Our pan con tomate, traditional Catalin garlic and tomato bread, also had to be requested twice, but arrived very promptly after that.

In the end we went for:

- PAN CON TOMATE A LA CATALANA

Toasted bread, fresh tomato & olive oil “a la catalana"

This was really lovely, but very garlicky. Luckily, that's just the way I like it!

-CROQUETAS CREMOSAS DE JAMON CON SALSA DE TOMATE & TOMILLO

Serrano ham & béchamel croquettes with tomato and thyme sauce

A Spanish staple, done beautifully but with a the tomato and thyme sauce representing a nice twist that I haven't seen tried in Spain.

-CALAMARES “FRITOS” O A LA ”PLANCHA”

Deep fried or griddled “fresh squid

Another staple. Tendido Cuatro had stuck to the classic way of serving this, but what else can you really do with this? Not too greasy, with the garlic mayo (more garlic! No snogging for me that evening!) just right.

-TORTILLA ESPAÑOLA DE PATATA, CON HUEVO DE CORRAL & CEBOLLA

Spanish omelette (free range egg, potato & onion)

Another Spanish staple, and I must admit it's not usually my favourite. This one was pretty tasty!

-POLLO DE CORRAL A LA PLANCHA CON MARINADO DE LIMA

Grilled Chicken breast, (free range) marinated in lime & olive oil

It's a shame this arrived late, as it really was amazing. A perfect zingy antidote to the many creamy, and mayonnaise-y dishes we'd ordered alongside it.

-CHIPS DE BERENJENA CON MIEL DE ROMERO

Aubergine chips with rosemary honey

These were really delicious. I love a sweet sauce with things, as you can probably tell from many of our selected dishes. Beautifully presented in a little stick, and just the right consistency: not too greasy, not over-cooked nor dry.

-FABADA ASTURIANA

Traditional stew of white beans, chorizo, pork from Asturias

Again, this is something I haven't always enjoyed in Spain, due to their habit of boiling in a lot of chunks of lard. Luckily, the Tendido Cuatro version was slightly more slimline, and a million times more delicious. Very smooth on the tongue, earthy and filling.

-CARAMELOS DE QUESO, CON GAMBAS EN SALSA DE VINAGRE DE FRAMBUESA & MANGO

Soft cheese and prawns “caramels”, raspberry vinegar & mango sauce

Personally I enjoyed these, and they were an interesting experiment. However, I do love sweet sauces with mains, and I remembered some gorgeous bechamel and prawn parcels I had eaten in Spain. Opinions were mixed on these, but well worth a try if you want to indulge in some treats you won't have tried before.

-PATATAS BRAVAS

Spicy “patatas bravas “ (Potatoes)

Another Spanish staple, given a fantastic Tendido Cuatro makeover. The spicy tomato sauce is hidden inside the potatoes, and they are topped with a creamy sauce. We ordered double rations of these as they were so good!

-CHORIZO DE SALAMANCA A LA BRASA

Char grilled spicy chorizo from Salamanca

Chorizo: done properly. Delicious, salty and juicy.

MareMoto's - Chelsea's Worst Kept Secret

So last Friday, whilst Sarah enjoyed a *sophisticated* night out on the town at Maggie's and the Clapham Grand, I fell back into the typical Chelsea/Fulham Friday night pattern and spent my evening at MareMoto, on the King's Road (dahling!), to celebrate a friend's birthday.


Now I'm sure MareMoto is probably not new or exciting to most of you, I'm sure the vast majority of you have been and formed an opinion. The reason I'm writing about it now is because, after a string of mediocre nights there (the crowd is usually of the braying variety, and invariably extraordinarily drunk) I really did have a fantastic time. 


The crowd was just right (perhaps because I was with a group of about 30 friends - we were the crowd) and the music was absolutely spot on, the kind of night where it's as if the DJ has got a hold of your iPod and just lined all your favourites up (well, my iPod anyway, and I like to think it's quite a cool one!). Think Chase & Status, followed by Rihanna, followed by GaGa, wrapped up with some classic Deadmau5 for good measure. An eclectic version of a classic mainstream mix, sure, but it did the job. We were jumping around that light-up dance floor all night long.

As a venue, MareMoto does check most of the boxes. Whilst the bar seating area does look like a restaurant, that's because it does double up as a restaurant throughout the day. There is a fairly large outdoor deck for the smokers and the club downstairs is fairly spacious, well decorated (the light-up dancefloor is fun and somehow manages not to look too but more kitsch) and there are loads of seats to park your bottom on. The drinks are pretty good, but this being the Kings Road, not exactly cheap. I had an expresso martini (amazing) and a passion fruit Porn Star Martini (mixed with cava - divine) and they were £9 each. Bottles of wine aren't too pricey either. However, I have heard of a few cases of overcharging at the downstairs bar (perhaps taking advantage of the cash-rich, too-drunk-to-notice braying crowd) although have been personally unaffected, though it's something to watch out for. Anyway, any extra pennies charged are more than made up for by the main USP: FREE ENTRY. This is incredibly rare in Chelsea and I'm sure it's what gets the hordes back time and time again. It means you can go for a low-key night and not worry about going all out to justify the cover charge - although I think most of the clientele just blew the money they saved on extra drinks. Either way - you decide - it's a perk nonetheless.


So my recommendation: go with a large group (own that crowd), sample their cocktail selection (it costs less than the neighbouring rivals) and be prepared to boogy - the playlist is unpretentious and all out fun!


All photos taken from MareMoto's Flickr account: I lost my camera!
MareMoto
562 King's Road
London SW6 2DZ